Yesterday, as I was piously sitting in church, totally not planning out other blogs that I want to start, I had an epiphany. Maybe it wasn’t an epiphany, it was kind of a realigning? of what I want to do with my life. The thing that makes me the most happy is writing. That’s how it’s always been. I can write about anything and thoroughly enjoy it. I pulled out my phone and started making notes about things I wanted to write about on both this blog and the mysterious soon-to-be blog. (Don’t judge me, it was near the end of service!) When service let out, I was walking out of the sanctuary and as usual, I was in my own little world not really thinking about anything except blogging.

“You have really pretty hair! Gosh, it’s gorgeous!” someone said, pulling me out of my thoughts. I managed a “Oh, you’re so sweet, thank you!” before she walked away.

Now, I’m gonna be real honest right now. I hadn’t washed my hair in at least 3 days. I barely managed to get it brushed before I had to leave the house. My hair has been a mess for God knows how long. I don’t like it. I don’t like the color, I don’t like the length, I don’t like the texture. I do. not. like. my. hair. I’ve basically accepted that it’s going to look like shit until I either pixie cut it again or let it get longer. I don’t love it curly, I don’t love it straight… I’m just not happy with my hair.


Sometimes I’m pretty.

A photo posted by Heather Sander (@thenerdyfoxblog) on


I can make it look okay enough for it to look like I’ve at least tried to put myself together. Sunday was NOT one of those days. This lady that doesn’t know, took the time to tell me I had pretty hair and it kind of made me realize that maybe… just MAYBE the things that I’m insecure about are completely ridiculous. Not everyone is going to notice that your hair isn’t perfect. Just because *I* feel like blonde hair washes me out, doesn’t mean that everyone else does. I mean, just look at the caption on that instagram photo. “Sometimes I’m pretty.” I remember posting that and thinking wow I look pretty in that picture. *captioned* I actually got accused of “fishing for compliments” on that picture. Like, let’s be real. I don’t really care if someone ELSE thinks I’m pretty. As long as I *FEEL* pretty, then I’m happy. I don’t need people to tell me I’m pretty — but like anyone else, it’s nice to be told by other people that I am pretty. I spent years in emotionally abusive relationships where I never felt good enough or pretty enough and if a stranger did happen to pay me a compliment, I was immediately shamed into thinking that they didn’t mean it. I think it just kind of took me by surprise that on that day, of all days, when I hadn’t really tried to be pretty or put together that someone said I had pretty hair. I don’t think that people realize how long words can have an impact on your psyche. It turns out that years later, I’m still struggling even on my good days.


I don’t really have a question for you guys. This was just a post that had been floating around in my head all day and I finally had a minute to sit down and write it out. I’ll gladly accept thoughts/comments/questions in the comments below!


Heather is a 29 year old Social Media specialist that enjoys writing, reading, video games, and nerdy things in general. She has two children, 3 dogs, and a handful of chickens. Her favorite fandoms are Star Wars, Tolkien, and the Harry Potter universe.


  1. I totally feel you on not being able to accept compliments in my head aka thinking people don’t really mean them. When a stranger compliments me, I always feel like a million bucks because for reason it seems more authentic from someone who’s never met me (which I’m aware is probably crazy, but too bad that’s how my brain rolls!) I’m making it a point this year to work on complimenting strangers more because it always makes me feel great when others do the same!

  2. I like your hair! I just got my hair cut and I’m feeling that way. I’m not enjoying how it is.

  3. I swear some people just know when others aren’t feeling something about themselves, and they take it upon themselves to hand out a compliment. It’s like they just know it could make that persons day!

  4. I do, too. I think it’s just that I’m at the point where I can’t really pull it up but it’s still on my neck so it’s hot, you know? It’s rough!

  5. I have this tendency to cut my hair into a pixie cut and then I hate it, grow it out, and hate it, and cut it off again. I can’t seem to get my hair long enough that I actually ENJOY having long hair. It’s always a really frustrating length. Like now, I’d love to be able to pull it up into a ponytail but it just isn’t long enough and it’s the most frustrating thing!

  6. It always surprises me. I fully agree, i always seem to get the most random compliments when I desperately need them!

  7. Isn’t it funny how people seem to comment on those kinds of things when we least expect it? My 8 year old daughter has a way of complimenting me out of the blue, and usually when I feel blah and not at all put together. It’s good to have other people’s perspectives; I think they often are presented when we need them the most 🙂

  8. It’s funny how people’s unexpected comments often have strong effects on us. My hair has been serving me nuts lately. I’m trying to grow out my to layers and try new stuff to allow it to hold curls better and it’s funny how I’ve been hating it and have had so many people comment lately. What we see isn’t always what others see.

  9. Kristina Padgett

    I love this and totally agree! Just for the record…. you do have really pretty hair 😉 and you have such a cute and fun blog!

  10. Haha, you do have really pretty hair! I remember a few years ago I went to the salon and there was another girl getting her hair done. She said she had actually seen me somewhere else earlier that day and thought my hair and outfit looked so good! It was a fun compliment to get!
    Molly and Stacie

  11. Danielle Knapp

    I totally have been there, being on the receiving end of an unexpected compliment for something I didn’t think was compliment worthy. Kind of puts things in perspective sometimes <3

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